Sunday, March 27, 2011

Not my will, but Yours

On Wednesday I found out that I will not be doing a residency next year. I am disappointed because of the rejection and the fact that I still don't have a job after graduation. I'm also relieved. The residency would have required a LOT of hours. I probably would have been working 60-80 hours a week. I would have had to work 12 days then have just 2 days off which would have been really difficult. So I am relieved that I don't have to give up my life and I won't be tied down for a year. This way if Jason is called to another ministry we are still flexible. I prayed a lot over the residency. I wanted to do it if it was the right thing to do. I asked God that if it was not what he had for me that He would close the door. I believe that's what He did. It must not be a part of His plan. I know that He has another plan for me. One day I will look back and think, "it's a good thing I didn't do a residency." On Wednesday night during my quiet time I again was reading Beth Moore's Praying God's Word Day by Day. The following is the entry for March 23rd.

God's primary purpose in healing us from our hurts is to 
introduce us to new depths of relationship with himself.

Lord, in my heart I plan my course, but You determine my steps
(Prov. 16:9).
Life is not going as I planned. But I am so grateful that you are 
not caught off guard. You knew everything that would befall me. 
So please direct my steps as You determine.
I need you, Lord.
Carry me when I cannot walk.
For though I walk in the midst of trouble, You preserve my life.
Stretch out your hand against the anger of my foes. With
your right hand, save me.
You will fulfill Your purpose for me. Your love, O Lord,
endures forever. Do not abandon the works of 
Your hands (Ps. 138:7-8).

I am so thankful that God allowed me to read this on the same day I found out I wasn't doing my residency. God is not caught off guard. He knew at the beginning of this process that the residency was not for me. He will guide my steps and fulfill His purpose for me. What an encouragement from Him after the discouragement of the world!

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